That’s “Kylie is Single”, not “New single from Kylie”. It seems that Kylie has split up with her boyfriend (can’t remember his name – but it’s not important, he’s a nobody). Why are all the tabloids telling us this on a day when the BNP are winning council seats?

Another day, another pointless story about a pop singer’s love life. History has failed to record who this particular ex-boyfriend

was. More happily, ten years on from this story, the BNP lost pretty much all of its councillors.