Only one story on the front page of every tabloid today. In fact it’s on the front page of every paper. England won a football match yesterday. Apparently it’s also important to note that it was Argentina that they beat. This gives the tabloids an excuse to report it as tho’ it was the Malvinas Crisis of 1982 all over again. From the tone of the papers you could easily think that they had won the World Cup, but our investigations reveal that it was a relatively unimportant match and we still have three weeks of this nonsense to go.